Patti Smith circle

Patti Smith

Life/Business Coach

Video Transcript

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[00:00:02.580] – Laura Cicholski

I am Laura Tomalski, I am the host of the Finding Balance in Your Business, Career, Finances, Health and Life podcast. Today, we are thrilled to welcome Patti Smith as our special guest. Patti, thank you for being here.

[00:00:16.470] – Patti Smith

Thank you so much, Laura. It’s a joy to be with you.

[00:00:19.560] – Laura Cicholski

Patti is an intuitive life and business coach and the owner of Your DreamJeannie, which sounds so neat. She has been coaching for over 50 years and teaching her students and clients about the energy of money and how to develop an abundant money mindset for nearly 20 years. She knows that money or the lack of it is one of the most common causes of stress impacting our self-worth and self-esteem, our relationships with others, and our ability to take care of ourselves and our families.

[00:00:50.790] – Laura Cicholski

Understanding what money really is and how to manifest more of it in our lives will improve all of those areas, reduce your stress, and will allow you to enjoy each day with greater peace of mind. Patti, this is amazing. Thank you so much for being here today. How are you?

[00:01:06.210] – Patti Smith

My pleasure. I’m very, very well. Thank you. And excited to share. I know we’ve got a relatively small amount of time. This is a big topic.

[00:01:16.050] – Laura Cicholski

So why don’t we dove into a little bit of it? Sure. Now, our audience today will be health care providers and could be other people that are looking on ways to reduce their financial stress. This is kind of a build on my stress relief series with reducing stress for our hero health care providers and others. And so today we wanted to talk to you so that we could see how health care providers and others could reduce their financial stress, change financial money mindset,

[00:01:40.080] – Laura Cicholski

and then you’re going to talk about everyone’s money story, which is so exciting. I can’t wait to hang out with you. So tell me a little bit more about how did you your coach so how did you change from being a  lifestyle coach? But how did you switch over to including money training as well and coaching as well, it’s it’s great.

[00:01:58.350] – Patti Smith

As you mentioned, I have been coaching for 50 years, but part of those 50 years, I was also working in human resources. And so I was constantly talking to employees about their benefits and what they should be doing with things. And I can tell you, I have seen many, many, many, many people, especially when they were newer in the workforce, you start talking to them about pension in their eyes, just go.

[00:02:26.820] – Patti Smith

And I’m like, no, no pay attention. This is important stuff for you to know. And people would often come to see me in H.R. with some work problem and five minutes after we started talking, the real issue would come on the table and it often had to do with money,  the lack of money,  issues that were being created at home because of money, or the lack of it. So in 2009, I decided I wanted to try and short circuit a lot of issues that people have with money and start teaching basic financial literacy skills to children, teens, because I thought if I could get to them before they got sucked into the often bad habits and negative beliefs about money that their parents had.

[00:03:21.020] – Patti Smith

Right, that we could begin to shift the way that people deal with money. Because actually, it’s the last taboo.  We talk about politics and religion all the time, ad nauseum, but nobody wants to talk about.

[00:03:39.030] – Laura Cicholski

Right now, you often hear don’t talk about money with your friends. That’s the way a good way to lose friends. So, yes, but it’s interesting, though, if you have a friend that’s doing some great money tips, like if they’re saving well or if they’re, you know, growing their retirement, paying off debt, those would be good tips to share with other friends without bragging about your current situation.

[00:03:58.950] – Patti Smith

Absolutely. But here’s the issue, and this relates to money story, which we’re going to talk about later on. And your money personality, depending on where you are coming from, you see and hear these things. You may be polite and say, gee, that’s wonderful. Thanks for sharing that with me. If you believe so, you can’t have something. No matter what you do, until you change that underlying belief. Uh huh. Nothing is going to change.

[00:04:30.720] – Patti Smith

This is why people who win the lottery, typically two or three years later, have not only lost all the money that they won, but more than that. Because their underlying story didn’t change.

[00:04:45.730] – Laura Cicholski

Which is so interesting, so, well, maybe let’s go right into. So it’s interesting how you kind of transitioned over to it makes a lot of sense to start when they’re kids because then they grow up as adults. And I love the legacy, you know, leaving a good legacy for kids and teaching them money and then they can teach future generations. And it’s it’s not all about just acquiring a lot of money and not keeping under your mattress and just spending it lavishly on things.

[00:05:08.500] – Laura Cicholski

It’s more about what can we do that’s good with our money? How can we give to others? How can we help? It might leave a legacy in the world be giving, but then also be able, though, whether it’s someone you see that needs help, whether it’s a parent or someone else that needs food, you can be able to give. And it gives you also the opportunity to travel more spend more time with family. Right. You have an elderly parent or something that you can do.

[00:05:30.790] – Laura Cicholski

So I think it gives opportunity versus the old money where people would hear, yes, it over here and then just keep it all for ourselves. And that’s where I think some people kind of stay away from, like, I don’t want to do that. But it’s more about what you can do with the money, the energy, the money, energy.

[00:05:45.430] – Patti Smith

Well, you’ve touched on a very important thing, and that is that mindset is the foundation for everything else. Money is a tool. It needs to be learned how to use it properly. And most of us got faulty information along the way. So affirmations along, while they can be helpful, are not going to address the real issue, which is that our beliefs and attitudes about money were instilled in us when we were very, very young and there in our subconscious.

[00:06:24.000] – Patti Smith

And the conscious mind can say to the subconscious, oh, I’m wealthy, I am abundant. Why do I have so much money in my life, in my subconscious is going to be like, no, no, no, no, no. So we need to understand that we start with the subconscious. And in order to do that, we have to go back and look at what what’s the money story? Mm hmm. So I normally would do a little guided visualization with people.

[00:06:57.870] – Patti Smith

And I always say, if you’re driving when you’re listening to this, please don’t do this right now. Wait, we’re operating machinery. Don’t do this. But take a minute. Close your eyes and allow yourself to go back in your mind to the kitchen table at dinner time, about six years old. And allow yourself to remember what were the conversations you were hearing about money? Or did you not hear anything about money? Most of the time, people say, oh, well.

[00:07:33.550] – Patti Smith

Mom and dad argue about money, maybe at the table, maybe behind closed doors or things like rich people can’t be trusted, they’re mean, they lie and does money grow on trees? Well, before we started having plastic as the basis for money, yes, money actually did. The paper came from trees. Right. So there’s this false sense of lack that has been installed in most of us. OK. And the other thing to remember is that we now know scientifically that we carry what’s called generational DNA and memory.

[00:08:13.930] – Patti Smith

So for those of us who had grandparents or great grandparents who lived through the Depression, through a world when there was rationing, there truly was lack, there wasn’t employment, there wasn’t food. But that has not been the case for most of us for well over 70 years. And yet we still behave as if that was the truth. So what’s important is to look at what is the money story that’s been coming into the background? Had. Is it one of abundance or is it one of lack?

[00:08:54.050] – Patti Smith

And then to look at money itself, when I say the word money and I ask people, did you just feel your on? Usually people will say, oh, I have this thing in the pit of my stomach. People are often afraid of money. They’re afraid of if I have a lot of money, everybody’s going to want to come and get it from me, right?

[00:09:22.520] – Laura Cicholski

So the lottery winner, right? Lottery winner, yeah. People you’ve never heard of pop out of the woodwork claiming to be a long lost relative or friend. So we have a fear of how our life will change if we do have a lot of money, how our relationships might change. A wife might say to herself, well, gee, if I suddenly start making a hundred grand a year, five hundred thousand a year or whatever it happens to be, is my spouse going to sit on the couch and play video games and drink beer all day?

[00:09:57.470] – Laura Cicholski

Right. How is this going to change the dynamic? Fish and chips. So there is a lot of fear around what it means. What would you lose?

[00:10:09.570] – Patti Smith

You know, allow you to help others and allow you to reach goals that you want to do and travel and spend time with loved ones, especially when they need you. And this is how you do what you need to do to take care of yourself. I spent many years working in a hospital and spoke every day with nurses, doctors, people who were lab technicians in the housekeeping department everywhere. Yeah, full range of financial spectrum there. And at the end of the day, we’re all human.

[00:10:42.770] – Patti Smith

We all feel stress when we don’t have what we need to take care of ourselves and our family. Right. And so we need to understand how to be better stewards of whatever resources we have.

[00:10:57.260] – Laura Cicholski

I met with another his name’s Andrew Baker. A week ago. I interviewed Andrew Baker for my financial podcast series, and he is a PA that runs  PS for finances. And it was so interesting because I knew that a lot of people all over the country had been affected by stress and financial stress over the past years. I didn’t really think that health care providers that had the financial stress, I thought they were all working overtime. He told me that there were so many PA’s that over the past year because practices couldn’t do elective surgeries.

[00:11:23.570] – Laura Cicholski

Right with in some places in the E.R. that they didn’t have all the extra. You couldn’t have as many patients. And so some of the E.R.’s  had people that were like a second tier nurses coming from across the country that serve. But depending on what you were doing, if it was an elective, I yes, he talked about the financial stress. So I think what you talk about is going to be great. It’s almost going to be like mindfulness for people that didn’t even like a health care provider, didn’t even expect to probably have financial stress because they’re making good money, they’re needed.

[00:11:50.780] – Laura Cicholski

But then a year ago, they wouldn’t have seen this coming. So this reminds me of also the stress series where we talk about practicing mindfulness and meditation before you even need it. Even if you’re feeling great, you’re not stressed out. I think this will be like that for them. Even if you don’t think you have financial issues, you never know if a storm is coming down the road. So let’s just prepare for it now. This reminds me, it’s like some financial meditation tips.

[00:12:13.160] – Laura Cicholski

Does that make sense through your mind?

[00:12:15.230] – Patti Smith

Yes, in a way, because mindfulness is something, again, as I said, become disconnected from money, from the connection between doing work and receiving money for it and how we actually use that money. Right. And what happens is the more unconscious you become of how  you’re spending your money. Yeah, OK, I’ll give you an example. I have worked in many, many different organizations in nature and often was the one was handing out paychecks, OK, or direct deposit notices.

[00:12:48.590] – Patti Smith

And I cannot tell you how many times I walk around the office hand delivering envelopes,. I would pass by someone. I had given them their pay stub or notice and it was unopened in their garbage can. Now, I’m not going to talk about identity theft, which is a whole other issue, but I said to them, why have you not opened that? I want to pay the same every week. Do you? Do you know which pay your benefit co-payment comes out of?

[00:13:21.420] – Patti Smith

Yeah. Did you take a vacation day? Was it properly allocated and paid? You know, it’s not just the same thing, right. I am amazed at the number of people who think they know how much money they have coming. Yeah, and they are wrong. So if you start budgeting or deciding how you’re going to spend money, that you’re starting from the wrong number. It’s not going to work out very well for you, right, so no.

[00:13:50.110] – Laura Cicholski

So, no, your numbers, I think I think absolutely, you know, your numbers of the budget and that we’ll talk about money personality the second. That’s a really good point. You brought up real quickly. So back to then you talked about the subconscious. So before they can know what money personality they have, it’s probably good. And they’re trying to change their mindset a little bit and they’re trying to figure out their money story. How can they change their thinking?

[00:14:11.680] – Laura Cicholski

Because he said it’s not just about affirmations. How can they change their thinking, these health care providers and others, so that they at least have kind of a good mind frame going forward, moving forward from their current money story, trying to move to a healthier money story. What can they do?

[00:14:25.870] – Patti Smith

Well, the thing to do is to start recognizing that you have to engage the subconscious in what you are training yourself to believe. We know from neuroplasticity studies over the last decade or more that we can create new neural pathways, but it takes practice, it takes repetition. And so we have to be conscious about how we speak to ourselves about money and catch ourselves when we’re going to save or think the old stuff. Yeah, and replace it with the new money story.

[00:15:03.140] – Laura Cicholski

So kind of changing it in your heads before it actually happens in someone’s life, correct?

[00:15:07.730] – Patti Smith

So, for instance, if someone says I’m no good with money. Yeah. You can say every affirmation you want in the world, but if that’s the underlying the affirmations won’t work, right? If you say to yourself, I haven’t been good with money, but I’m learning. Yeah. Now you have a foundation on which to build this new pathway, which is positive, which says I can gain the skill I need in order to be better at managing money.

[00:15:40.480] – Laura Cicholski

I like the fact that you’re not ignoring the past because we can’t hear you have you can ignore it. You have to. That’s so cool. And I remember learning years ago, so mental fitness. I was learning and they talked about the subconscious deals in pictures you probably have to deal with. And a lot of times it’s during the night. So they haven’t talked about if you want to achieve a certain goal, that you should be reading about it before you go to bed, close the book and and hopefully your subconscious is working while you’re sleeping.

[00:16:06.430] – Laura Cicholski

So they have to somehow and you probably know that’s. But I do get their subconscious to focus on some type of pictures with money. Right. Is it things they want to achieve? What?

[00:16:16.570] – Patti Smith

Here’s the thing. You’re right. We are visual creatures. First, unless someone is born blind. For most of us, we are visual first, then smell, then sound. OK, so the other thing is you asked about how do we work with the subconscious? Very simply, you ask it. Keep forgetting that there is so much more to us than what we have been led to believe. So what I say to people, whether you’re trying to solve a problem of work issue, family issue, whatever, when you go to bed at night, the last thing you want to do after giving gratitude for everything that you’ve received and experience through the day is to say to your subconscious, OK.

[00:17:07.050] – Patti Smith

Why do I have to sleep, I want you supercomputer, it’s doing billions of computations, the conscious mind only holds one thought at the time. Your subconscious can go wild, right? Pulling in opportunities and that sort of thing. So tell your subconscious what you want it to work on while you are sleeping. So you might you might put your head on the pillow after saying thank you for all the blessings of this day, I’m so grateful for everything that.

[00:17:39.900] – Patti Smith

OK, subconscious. While I’m sleeping, I want you to find and bring to my conscious mind. I wake up tomorrow morning opportunities I haven’t seen before. Hmm, very interesting, yeah, so then when this goes to sleep, stop interfering. Yeah, exactly. Then your subconscious gets to work. So keep your phone a pad of paper and pen something by the bed. And when you first wake up, this is part of a dream work that I do to your dreams will bring you answers.

[00:18:16.710] – Patti Smith

But most people, as soon as they open their eyes, it’s gone, right, so start start training yourself to remember what you saw and heard and experienced in your dreams because you’re getting clues. OK, you know, the dreams are the movies that run at night. And can show us and not that it’s specifically an example, but I years ago when I was starting many Workcamps seminars. Yeah. Got the entire branding for the business in a very.

[00:18:52.520] – Patti Smith

Wow, everything wow, so to need to access what is available to you in your subconscious, but it means getting this thing out of the way, if you there’s certain things you want to achieve and you want to go above and beyond, you’re like, I can I know you in this job and you want to switch over to becoming a business owner or switch. Maybe you’re in a health care field and you want to switch to a different department, get more the administration.

[00:19:16.970] – Patti Smith

Why can’t you try that? Right. And then just figuring out how to do this.

[00:19:20.270] – Patti Smith

This is well, and you’ve touched on exactly the reason that people struggle. And again, I’m going to talk about quitting biology. But the oldest part of the human brain, the reticular activating system, is that reptilian brain. The thing that when we were cave people kept us from being attacked by wooly mammoths or saber tooth tigers or other aggressive people. Well, there aren’t any saber tooth tigers are now, but that RAS has been tasked for millennia with keeping us safe.

[00:20:00.230] – Patti Smith

So it has a very narrow view, right. Of what you can do that is acceptable. So it’s really the RAS that you need to be focusing on retraining. To stop , to open up,  and look at what else is possible, how could I? Yeah. So when you ask a question. You open yourself up to all kinds of answers when you make a statement. I’m no good with money. You’ve just shut down . Everything,  that could have come to you because it’s a judgment, you know,

[00:20:40.050] – Laura Cicholski

You give me kind of the solution to the problem.

[00:20:41.550] – Laura Cicholski

It’s really interesting how collaboration you can release for people to collaborate with others and run their idea by others. And I think to you, if there’s a certain goal they’re trying to reach, talk to someone that may have already achieved that goal. Because you don’t you think that’s why people hire coaches, probably like you and other people hire someone that’s already kind of walk the walk that can help you because it’s we can’t do everything alone, you know? I mean, we have so many responsibilities and you can’t make all the mistakes in the world.

[00:21:09.140] – Patti Smith

So learn from the ones that other people make, if you could, but it could take you then many, many years to ever get to your goal. Right. You could I mean, you probably wouldn’t be such long time for. Yeah, yeah. So let’s talk about the money personalities. That’s good. And I want your listeners to use their inner movie screen, see which one of these pops for them. OK, so the first one, because so many of us fall into this category, is the ostrich head stuck in the ground back end up.

[00:21:45.640] – Patti Smith

And if you stay that way and ignore everything that’s going on with your financial situation. You will definitely have problems, OK, because you’re ignoring what’s going on. You have abdicated responsibility for what’s happening with your money. And to be perfectly frank, because nature abhors a vacuum if you stay in that pose. Eventually someone will come and park a bicycle there because they’re going to get news out of you if you’re not going to do something to change. Exactly.

[00:22:19.560] – Patti Smith

So that’s the ostrich. Then there’s the miser that we’ve already alluded to. Everybody remembers Scrooge, whether it’s Scrooge McDuck or Housedress and Scrooge, the man who has devoted his life and his every waking moment to collecting and hoarding money. But he won’t spend any of it. And let’s remember that blood clot that we talked about, money has to flow. There is a natural ebb and flow that has to happen if I have a closed fist and somebody is dropping money over my hand.

[00:22:58.680] – Patti Smith

How much money can I actually hold . I have to do this, open your hand , so that is the MIser.   Almost exactly opposite is the banker. OK, and there’s a lot of mums and dads that fall into this, you know, the kid needs a little extra money for something. Just keep having a family member needs problem giving them money. This is the person who is for ever giving money to other people, it’s like you’ve become a human ATM. OK, OK.

[00:23:36.350] – Patti Smith

And there’s a whole range of emotional issues that go beyond that, then we have the shopper. And now that we have online shopping. Oh, my God, yeah, these people can be out of control, Amazon, eBay, you name it. There’s just if I can just type in the numbers of my credit card and get that thing. And so they have completely lost touch. With their financial reality, because a game there, it’s not good, you have to open your wallet, take money out, hand it to someone, it’s too easy.

[00:24:10.380] – Patti Smith


[00:24:11.720] – Laura Cicholski

You know, it’s too easy to hand the card over. That’s what they say is we’ve been starting to use cash as much as we can because Dave Ramsey often talks about it’s harder to hand over your money than it is just a card because you’re a card. You and when I go to the ATM, my kids are like, wow, that’s awesome. The bank gives you money when I have kids.

[00:24:28.280] – Laura Cicholski

That’s that mom my dad’s money that we put in there. You know what I mean?

[00:24:31.580] – Patti Smith

Exactly. That you worked hard for and that you are now taking out of. So the shopper just put on more, more, more. Then there is the personality type that I call the Mother Teresa. And these are people who are extremely good at fundraising and supporting charitable causes. They will attract thousands and thousands, maybe hundreds of thousands of dollars, but it flows right out through them. None of it stays with them. OK, I knew many, many years ago that love very, very ultra conservative religious person who spent her entire life.

[00:25:15.320] – Patti Smith

She and her husband both worked, worked hard, but they never had a penny to their name, often really struggling to put food on the table because everything went to the church. Oh, wow. OK. And charitable donations, they went without. They went without because of extreme giving. And I said, do you not remember that? God said. Go forth, be fruitful and multiply, abundance is our natural birthright, but there are some people who still believe that you cannot be spiritual or you cannot be a healer and have money.

[00:25:56.670] – Patti Smith

So everything they attract to them immediately gets washed out. Wow. So those are the five that are most often encountered, but there is a sixth one and it’s the one that we should be aiming to become. Mm hmm. And that is the good steward. Stewardship means we invest what we have in resources, including money or time, wisely, so that there is a portion set aside for current needs. There is a portion set aside for future needs.

[00:26:38.120] – Patti Smith

There is a portion set aside to help those in need. Right. And then there if there is money still left over, we have a wide variety of choices of what we can do with it. So I like to talk about and I used to teach the teams this, the ten, ten, ten, seventy group. That is the first 10 percent of any amount of money that comes to. Your salary, when 20 bucks on the lottery, whatever it is, commission money, whatever it is, the first 10 percent is to be put aside for you.

[00:27:20.790] – Patti Smith

OK. Then you have two more 10 percent Buckets to fill. Well, 10 percent should be going into debt repayment, 10 percent should be going to savings for the future. That’s retirement, education, whatever the case may be. Short term or long term. 70 percent. Is what you are advised to use for your current expenses. OK. Now, most people have a horrific debt ratio right now, so 10%percent is not going to be enough. So you’ll need to play with these percentages a little bit.

[00:28:03.570] – Patti Smith

But the one I want you to understand is absolutely sacrosanct. Unnegotiable, the first 10 percent get set aside for you. You can then subdivide that 10 percent, if you wish, and say out of that 10 percent, which is now 100 percent. I’m going to put 10 percent aside for gifts, 10 percent aside for personal care stuff. So they will be able to go and get our hair cut again. Right, exactly. Have a massage, do the things that feed us.

[00:28:44.410] – Patti Smith

But you also need to have a percentage that’s set aside just to play.

[00:28:49.330] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, they could play fund.

[00:28:51.890] – Patti Smith

Yeah. You know, whether it’s a girls night out or a family goes out for a nice dinner somewhere, a game once. We can do that.

[00:29:03.910] – Laura Cicholski

You to be heading toward a vacation or something?

[00:29:06.820] – Patti Smith

Well, that’s part of your your long and short term savings, though. This is money. That’s for you personally, each person, OK?

[00:29:13.900] – Patti Smith

That’s right. That 10 percent is you get to decide what you’re going to do with it. Maybe there’s know. A book that you have been longing to read, and if you’re like me, e-books are fine, but I want the book.

[00:29:29.600] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, that same way physically want to turn the pages right. Whatever it is, your particular fragrance that you want to wear, that just your spirit. You know, you’re going to run out of what you currently have. Well, if you’re putting aside money, then you can find it and have it without feeling guilty, without feeling that you’re taking away from any of your other obligations, which is good on the part of the self care part. Right.

[00:30:01.620] – Laura Cicholski

This is a self that is essential, and especially for those who are health care providers, first responders. These are the people who are going the extra mile for the rest of us. Exactly. Yeah. And they often get very little thanks for the information. They often feel ignored, taken for granted. So it is even more important that they have the means to do what back up again fills them back up again.

[00:30:35.580] – Laura Cicholski

Their bucket in their spirit. Those are really good points because I think you’re right, a lot of times their health care providers are famous for helping other people, probably helping out their family, making sure their kids and everything our spouses are taking care of.

[00:30:47.760] – Laura Cicholski

And so I think you’re right to be able to make sure that they’re saving aside as well, putting aside so it doesn’t get all spent on other things, whether it’s paying down debt or saving for the future, but they have their own. I think that’s really good.

[00:31:00.390] – Patti Smith

It’s it’s essential. I have said many, many times self care is not selfish. It is essential to your mental health and well-being, because as the people who are taking care of everybody else. Right. We need to keep ourselves filled up. I want to use the example of the beautiful China teacup and saucer. And you imagine that the teacup is filled to overflowing with tea. So that has gone into the saucer. What’s in the saucer is what we give to everybody else, families and friends who work our community.

[00:31:39.520] – Patti Smith

Right. But what is in the cup is ours. Because if that cup runs dry, there is nothing to give. Right? So it’s our responsibility to keep ourselves filled up, keep our tea cup.

[00:31:57.020] – Laura Cicholski

I know. And I especially if you’re making some great points, had some experts talk about the keeping your picture full, otherwise you can’t fire up anyone else’s picture. So it’s true of coworkers. It’s true of how selfless they are with taking care of patients that I want to give a shout out to the all the health care providers right now.

[00:32:13.570] – Laura Cicholski

And thank you so much for doing such a great job, especially over the past. Yes. With covid. Thank you. We don’t say that enough and we appreciate you.

[00:32:21.690] – Patti Smith

Well, anyone that that can be considered a first responder. Yeah. Who has made a commitment to be of service for the greater good. Right. And that takes a special kind of person. And as I say, too often they are not recognized the extremes sometimes that they go to to help. Exactly. Go unacknowledged and you’re left feeling used. And that’s not right. So, yeah, absolutely, but this is why self care and reducing stress and money is the number one stressor.

[00:33:02.470] – Laura Cicholski

Money issues is the one that was the number one issue. OK, I know it’s up there along with parenting and different things you have, but I didn’t realize it was the number one stress. OK, so like for. So then for, whether it’s people looking to have a three watching this, looking to have a better relationship with a spouse or more money to travel or whatever, or a health care provider to saying, gosh, I just want to, you know, I make a good salary.

[00:33:24.100] – Laura Cicholski

I want to just make sure that I’m providing for the future, saving for the future, saving for now and not spending all my money. What other suggestions do you have for them? Some other tips to start, because this is really good with the 10 percent, 10, 10, 10.

[00:33:35.500] – Patti Smith

Yes, yes. Oh, there’s so much I know in this interview.

[00:33:42.010] – Patti Smith

OK, so within the context of our short period of time, look for ways that you can. First of all, identify your money leaks. We’ve all got them.

[00:33:54.370] – Laura Cicholski

Oh, yeah.

[00:33:55.660] – Patti Smith

Have you ever sat down to add up bank fees that you pay every month? The feess on your credit card, no, I look for them, they’ll identify those those memberships that you have that you’re not using to the gym, perhaps for some program online. there is so much money. If you sit down with your bank statement every month and you look, where is my money going? Do I still need this? Things like replacing a vehicle.

[00:34:29.800] – Patti Smith

OK, when I was teaching the teens, I used to say to them, don’t imagine for one second that your parents are going to take you to a dealership and buy you a new car. They’re not doing that for themselves, so they’re not going to be doing it for you. Right. And I would talk about how to source a quality second hand vehicle. That you get inspected by a mechanic, you trust him, give all of your listeners, don’t have a mechanic that they can trust, go find one, right?

[00:35:02.810] – Laura Cicholski


[00:35:04.010] – Patti Smith

Never, ever, ever buy something that is used without having it inspected first.

[00:35:09.230] – Laura Cicholski

Good idea. Very good idea.

[00:35:11.240] – Patti Smith

And you can find amazing deals for a relatively small amount of money. When I was teaching this to a group of at risk youth a number of years ago through the YMCA, and the woman who had brought me to speak said she just wanted a new car three weeks ago. I wish I had talked to me first. So I said, OK. You presumably have a certain amount of cash along with the trees, are you going to share what that was and show you what you could have done?

[00:35:45.030] – Patti Smith

Right, so she had three thousand dollars cash. And I said, OK, here’s an example from my own life. My husband needed a vehicle, traveled all over the province of Ontario, Canada, and he needed a good, reliable vehicle for the winter time because he was often on country roads and they don’t get plowed. So we found through some searching. Nineteen eighty two Mercedes Benz, three hundred  diesel actually is the last of the steel bodied Benz’s and I will never forget getting a phone call one morning at eight twenty four and the first words out of his mouth were, I am OK, here’s what happened.

[00:36:34.130] – Patti Smith

Oh, he had hit black ice under the snow, was fishtailing back and forth across a country road and wound up on the driver’s side in a six foot deep ditch. My goodness. And had to be pulled out of the car by people passing by.  When he came home. The mirror on the driver’s seat was gone and some of the trim was gone. You would never have known that this car also was pretty good car.

[00:37:01.890] – Patti Smith

Very. OK, how much did he pay for it? You ask? Sixteen hundred dollars and the cost of a new set of winter tires, right, which was a good night.

[00:37:15.500] – Patti Smith

Yes, exactly. So I don’t know if you have AutoTrader in the States. We do trade or so go to trader. Put in a trusted make that is known for reliability. Mercedes Benz is one that we always will consider because. They were one of the first car makers, and no matter what year you buy. They have parts for it in the factory warehouse in Germany, OK, which is good, you will never find that with any other other countries actually good.

[00:37:57.250] – Patti Smith

The other may exactly like to have strong.

[00:38:00.220] – Patti Smith

They are. And in many countries around the world, they are still in use 40, 50 years on as taxis and busses and trucks, because really 40, 50 years ago there are Benz’s that have badges for having a million miles.

[00:38:16.690] – Laura Cicholski

Wow. I didn’t even know that.

[00:38:18.880] – Patti Smith

Wow. So it’s not just a status symbol. It is a very well engineered and built vehicle. You can find them. For relatively good money, but you want to be looking at it. Do you have the owner’s manual? What were the service records?

[00:38:35.300] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, because when you look at I know my parents are one. I’ve always been wonderful financially for us. And they always buy new vehicles and they do really well financially. And I was like, Dad, when you buy a new vehicle, I get it. You do it for reliability. But I’d like it’s literally like thousands of dollars every three years going out your window. And he can afford it. But I’m like, oh, whereas we I think we bought one new vehicle in our lifetime to my husband and the rest.

[00:38:56.660] – Laura Cicholski

Now they’re two years or older, you know what I mean? I find it reliable and everyone’s different. Everyone, if they want to buy new vehicles, they can. But with my kids, I’m like, if you can get one, two years old or older, then that’s you’re saying, well, the thing is, if you have an opportunity where you work, for instance, my father worked for the same company all of his working life until he retired and they had a certain number of company vehicles that once they came off lease, they would make them available for sale to employees.

[00:39:26.000] – Laura Cicholski

So he never picked up a new car. He would always get one that had come off lease. Yeah, that’s a really good let somebody else take the hit for the depreciation.

[00:39:35.630] – Laura Cicholski

Exactly. Yeah, that’s a good point. So the thing then coming back to the kids and for ourselves, it’s not just the cost of the vehicle. You got to have money set aside for maintenance and repairs. You’re going to need a new set of winter tires depending on where you live.

[00:39:53.570] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, exactly.

[00:39:54.860] – Patti Smith

And unforeseen things that come up. And insurance, so for if you’ve got teenagers who are just getting their license, you want to make sure they understand there’s gas to be paid. There’s maintenance money that needs to be set aside. There’s insurance that needs to be placed. And you’re not doing that. Right? I know it’s a responsibility. It’s not a given.

[00:40:21.680] – Laura Cicholski

Exactly. I know that makes you think about houses when people have their homes to set aside money, right. Would you recommend that as well for me? Absolutely. And obviously, you have the homeowner’s insurance and things that you don’t like. You don’t ever want to use the homeowner’s insurance and have to do repairs, but it’s all going to happen.

[00:40:40.100] – Patti Smith

Well, and look at the terms of your insurance. I’m glad you brought that up. Everybody should be checking their insurance policies right now if you don’t have replacement value in your policy. That’s what you want. So that, God forbid, your house blows up or burns down, whatever the case may be, you have enough money to get back to what you had before.

[00:41:04.060] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, especially now with covid, we’re seeing lumber in the States, we’re seeing lumber prices through the roof and people can’t get concrete and different things. Yeah, it was like one hundred dollars, I think, a square foot. Now, I had a friend that’s trying to build it. Two hundred fifty dollars a square foot. So totally different environment.

[00:41:20.530] – Patti Smith

Well, exactly. And it’s why we have insurance in many different ways. Medical insurance, life insurance, car insurance. It’s a protection against what could happen in the future. Mm hmm. So these are the people reviewing the insurances that you have to make sure that they actually are going to be the right thing for you. This is something you should look at on a regular basis, right?

[00:41:48.250] – Laura Cicholski

Probably looking into life insurance as well, because you don’t have a God forbid you don’t ever want to see what’s going to happen. But if it did, it is your family take care of if something happened to one of the parents or something.

[00:41:57.880] – Patti Smith

And not only life insurance, but critical and critical illness and disability insurance, because statistically we’re all going to die at some rate. But last time I saw this statistic, I think was about 68 percent of people will at some point in their working life experience a short term or long term illness that prevents them from working and into. So you need to have the right insurance in place to place that lost income.

[00:42:30.220] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, that makes sense because it’s things you don’t expect right to happen then kind of surprises in life. Those are good points to make. So those are good points. So kind of try to buy used cars, if you can check, to see where maybe you’re losing fees, make sure that you’re insured. Probably. Right. And now you mentioned when you were in H.R. and I’m sure a lot of the health care providers are already doing this, making sure that you’re probably investing for retirement.

[00:42:53.110] – Laura Cicholski

I know Andrew Baker I talked to a couple weeks ago mentioned that. So you saw a lot of people used to have pensions, right? We’re not hearing so much about pensions now. So maybe that the Roth IRA and part of the issue is to that with the changes in the way that employment has been happening over the last number of years, yeah, there are far fewer full time, full benefits, employment opportunities. Many companies have gone to part time for the simple reason that they can control the number of hours that someone works and exclude them from benefit coverage.

[00:43:26.690] – Laura Cicholski

Oh, OK. Which includes pensions. Correct. So you need to take responsibility for creating a retirement income fund and having it invested safely. Everyone Knows the stock market is probably not the place to put it. But you need to do is find someone who is a qualified ethical investor and financial planner to sit down with you. And explain what your options are, figure out what your risk tolerance is and give you good advice on how to invest your money for the future.

[00:44:10.360] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, which is good. And usually someone certified to it as well as helpful, like a certified financial planner. They’ve gone through a certain number of things and I think they’ve taken a test . That’s good.

[00:44:20.570] – Patti Smith

And then and the other the other things or just to to add to that is don’t necessarily go with somebody who’s in the bank because the bank wants you to buy their instruments, their corrections, their investment. You want an independent, right. Same thing. If you’re looking for a mortgage, don’t go to your bank. Go to a mortgage broker. Mm hmm. Because mortgage brokers have access to other than traditional lenders, and if you don’t qualify for the bank, they may be able to find someone or a group of investors who are willing to give you a mortgage.

[00:44:58.990] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, that’s really cool. We just have to go ahead.

[00:45:02.500] – Patti Smith

I was going to say stop thinking the bank is the only place to go.

[00:45:05.470] – Laura Cicholski

Right. There are other options and we just have to experience ourself. We we refinanced a year ago, got a lower rate, and then we refinanced again this year. And we a year ago, we had to pay like the higher twenty five hundred three thousand closing costs. My husband’s like, I don’t want to do it again. Well, we ended up doing it this year. And the banker that we went through this year was neat because he actually and he was a bank, so we were lucky.

[00:45:25.780] – Laura Cicholski

Normally the mortgage lender, but he actually had access to a new product, whereas if you move the rate down a little bit, it will end up being like three hundred dollars. But normally that’s not the case. Right. So, yeah, that’s good advice to look outside the banks as well. Mortgage lenders and stuff to good advice.

[00:45:39.700] – Patti Smith

Insurance brokers, mortgage brokers. Any time you’re looking at doing something with your money, you want someone who is an independent and therefore is not being pushed into selling your suite of products. You want someone who can find you the best for what your particular.

[00:46:01.020] – Laura Cicholski

And that’s really good. Now, what about their health care providers are obviously they don’t have a pension. And if you get physicians are people that own practices, that they’re kind of doing their own retirement thing, they could they could get like a self directed IRA, couldn’t they, where they do it themselves?

[00:46:15.130] – Patti Smith

Probably they can. But there aren’t many people who are really that confident in their ability. So what do you want to find someone who is well qualified and who will work with you and they should be meeting with you at least annually to review. This is not do once and forget about it. You can’t afford to do that. Right. You also want to know how they get paid, what fees are involved. Upfront fees back in fees, yeah, that sort of thing, ask questions, even if you don’t think you know the right questions to ask.

[00:46:58.680] – Patti Smith

Ask what’s on your mind. A good adviser. And this is anywhere, whether it’s financial, medical or whatever good a good aviser will tell you the full spectrum of what’s available and help you identify what is going to work for you in your particular circumstance, which is perfect to run through.

[00:47:21.460] – Patti Smith

Yeah. And then they will stay in touch with you to say, do we need to revisit this and make some adjustments. When I was working with couples, I would have them create together a financial agreement which would look at things like. Who Is going to contribute what, to monthly expenses, because not everybody is earning the same rate as you have one partner working or staying on the family. Right. So what percentage of the money that comes into the household and education rate for.

[00:47:59.020] – Patti Smith

Expanding the family, so I would say to them, you need to come back to this agreement. Oh, the other thing that I always had them put into it, and this is done when you’re not just coming off an argument about this, how much can each other spend without talking to the other spouse? Yeah, that’s good. That’s good. That’s really important. Really important. Because as with any person that you are sharing money with, there has to be trust.

[00:48:32.650] – Patti Smith

Mm hmm. So if you say, you know, based on whatever your income is, I can spend up to X dollars a month. And I don’t have to tell you what I’m doing right now. That gives each party a comfort level with what’s going on, but Life Changes have we discovered over the last 14 months. And so I would say to them and look at it at least once a year to make sure that it’s still accurate and look at it and adjust it.

[00:49:02.990] – Patti Smith

If a new child is born, if a parent comes to live with you, if a salary increase comes through. If you check out jobs, if you lose a job. All of these things are factors in how this money allocation is going to be adjusted. Yeah, those are great when you sit down and do it on a regular basis. There’s no negative emotion attached to it. It’s just, OK, let’s check in on track? What do we need to adjust then

[00:49:36.200] – Patti Smith

You’re working together, right? I like to think of two horses pulling a wagon. If they’re trying to go in different directions, you’re going to have a bumpy ride.

[00:49:47.550] – Patti Smith

They might not have it right. It may stop right there. You know what I mean is that is that is true. They may try and start backing up. I just don’t know. So be on the same page with your.

[00:50:00.650] – Laura Cicholski

That’s neat, because it goes back to what you talked about in earlier this conversation, how and I didn’t realize that was the case, that spouses could lead times, get divorced because of money issues. So that goes back to the whole, I think my whole podcast finding balance in your wellness and balance completely. But you can try to make sure that you’re looking at dollars versus being the what was the first one that you talked about with the head down and the the ostrich, correct.

[00:50:26.780] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah. And not being the ostrich when finances and the rest you’re paying attention to. Right. Making sure that every area of your life you’re giving something to.

[00:50:34.140] – Patti Smith

Yes. And communication is so important because this is why we need to know what our story is and what our money personality is. And it’s very rare that you will find a couple who both have exactly the same attitudes, beliefs of right around money. Yeah. So you need to talk about this, right? I worked with a couple where the woman was an entrepreneur. The husband was working but wanted to go out on his own in the next six months and they had two young children and she was freaking out about how they were going to pay their mortgage, take care of these two little girls, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera.

[00:51:15.260] – Patti Smith

And I’m sitting at the dining room table. She’s weeping. She’s looking at her. She’s got two heads saying, you don’t need to worry about that because I’ve done this.  she walked out and she then she said, but I don’t know that.

[00:51:28.160] – Laura Cicholski

OK, so he never told me that. OK, so he thought he had. He thought he had. But and so. You have to talk to each other about what’s going on and be honest, and if you’ve made a mistake, admit it. You know, we’re human, we we make mistakes, admit it, do what’s necessary to fix it.

[00:51:54.660] – Laura Cicholski

So quick question on that. With the money personality, you know, depending on one spouse could have one, one could have another. How do you get towards the healthy one? And then how do you deal with the I guess this is maybe two out of the question, but how do you deal with one spouse that wants to go on a lot of vacations? The other one wants to pay off debt? You know, where there’s a happy medium where you’re paying off somebody, maybe going on some vacations, but not how do you.

[00:52:17.700] – Laura Cicholski

Sorry, that’s such a loaded question, but that’s.

[00:52:19.620] – Patti Smith

Well, it is. And it isn’t. Thank you for asking. The short answer is we talk to each other about your money story, but come at it from a place of of curiosity, not judgment. Just say, you know, what you grow up with as beliefs and how it should be handled. Yeah. And how good do you think you have become at doing those things? And here’s what my experience was. Yeah. And find that common ground.

[00:52:53.070] – Patti Smith

So if you have a Miser and a Shopper married to each other. You need to say, OK, I understand you wanting to save for every eventuality, yeah, but you need to experience life as well. Yeah, the Miser can say to the shopper  but I understand you want to have a good time, you know, go and buy whatever you like. Yeah. And I love it when you come up with something that makes you happy and not.

[00:53:25.020] – Patti Smith

But and. I would really love to see you putting some money aside for the future.

[00:53:34.170] – Laura Cicholski

Mm hmm. Yeah, that’s good, the reason we don’t want to say BUT is but is one of those words. So you say something to someone and say, but you’ve just negated everything you just said.

[00:53:49.020] – Laura Cicholski

That makes sense.

[00:53:50.580] – Patti Smith

So we need to understand that we don’t have to live either or. It’s either  and.

[00:54:00.120] – Laura Cicholski

That’s so interesting, I was reading a book last night by T. Harvey Pekar. And if you’ve heard of him or not. Oh, yes, it was very interesting because it talked about the different mindsets of people that were wealthy and then people that were more middle class and then people that didn’t have as much. And it just talked about the people that were more in the the wealthier mindset. They were very good givers, but they also got an either or.

[00:54:27.540] – Laura Cicholski

So what you just said kind of goes, well, this is a people who tend to have a lot of money at their disposal. If they were brought up in the correct mindset of looking at it as a resource, which is what it is. Right. How do I want to allocate this resource? Mm hmm. You know, the needs that must be taken care of. What are the nice to haves? And what are the things that I can perhaps postpone doing right is there could be a better time, there could be a better deal, you know, so I always would say to people at the very beginning of talking to them about money, there’s there’s three things that are critical to your success in anything.

[00:55:14.710] – Laura Cicholski

Timing, choice, the mindset, the mindset is the foundation for everything else that makes sense to start a powerful start. Well, it is a lot of people are afraid of that power and responsibility. But if you think of yourself, whether you are employed by your company or you have to think of yourself as the CEO and chief financial officer of you think because that’s your job. So you have this pot of money that comes in. You have to decide what is the most effective way to allocate your resources.

[00:55:58.600] – Laura Cicholski

Right. So it’s a little bit of emotional distancing there. Look at money as a tool. Look at it as an ally.

[00:56:10.610] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, because it can be and it can get it can help so many people just by being able to get away and help out and then be able to do something. So then going back to my house, if you get a couple or even people that are like, let’s say siblings want to go to sisters or two brothers want to go on a trip together, their families, and one saying, oh gosh, I don’t want to spend a lot of them and saying I’d rather not go on vacation and I want to save.

[00:56:31.820] – Laura Cicholski

Is that, again, where you have the conversation, that and conversation where I know you love to save. And that’s so amazing. And I would love to see you take some, you know, enjoy your life a little more by taking a trip as a good experience, is that where that comes in? And then see if you can kind of get them because you hear about them. All the sides, some people and others are spending too much on saving.

[00:56:51.620] – Laura Cicholski

Never. How do you get the happy medium?

[00:56:53.960] – Patti Smith

Just like it is a conversation and it is acknowledging the reality of the other person, not judging it, acknowledging it. And then saying, here’s what I wish for you. Hmm, and I’ll give you an example, because it’s all about choice. Yeah, both my sister and I spent a good portion of our lives traveling before we got married and had mortgages and other stuff we were doing. Right. She always wanted to stay in five star hotels.

[00:57:29.500] – Patti Smith

OK, now I’m not spending that much money on a place where I’m going to sleep for a couple of hours. Yeah, I want the money to go on tours to experience what’s happening. So my favorite city to visit is Paris. Uh huh. You can stay in a two star hotel in Paris and it would be clean. It will be everything that you need without staying at the Ritz  yeah. So there’s a time and a place for splashing.

[00:58:03.840] – Patti Smith

Absolutely, but I would rather spend less on my accommodation and have more to go do and experience the place I’m visiting because it would make sense. So it’s a choice and it’s it’s finding the balance.

[00:58:20.130] – Laura Cicholski

So how did you and your sister find the balance? Was she in one hotel and you don’t travel together OK? I was thinking that we rarely travel together, OK? She’s not fussy about Paris, London, this is her place. But the fact is, wherever you’re going, it’s long before you go. When I went to Rome, I was researching everything about the things that I wanted to see. And I took a three hour city bus tour on what was essentially a glorified school bus, yellow school.

[00:58:55.680] – Laura Cicholski

So we’re not talking Airstream type. Yeah. What I saw all the major sites seeing. Yeah. And it cost me the equivalent of six bucks.

[00:59:08.190] – Laura Cicholski

How do they let you get off two hours. Do you see it from the bus.

[00:59:12.660] – Patti Smith

There were three places that we were able to get off. Look at them. And again, in Rome, I was hungry one day and I thought, OK, I don’t know any of the restaurants around here. And I just watched the crowd. I thought, where are the local people going to eat? Yeah. Because they’re not going to go pay off a bunch of money for crappy food. Yeah, exactly.

[00:59:37.700] – Laura Cicholski

Very good, right?

[00:59:39.150] – Patti Smith

Yes. And I actually ended up in the restaurant, in the train station, OK, having fabulous pasta that again costs very little. Yeah. So think it’s perhaps not the most beautiful surrounding to be eating your lunch. Right. But the food was good and the price was right. Yeah. And then I had more money for me if I did want to go. In Milan, I sat on the square by the cathedral and had the most expensive cup of coffee I ever had in my life.

[01:00:11.730] – Patti Smith

Wow. Because you’re not paying for the coffee. You’re paying for the proximity to where you’re looking. One of the primary sightseeing places, which is so neat, said your chair.

[01:00:26.190] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, exactly. Expensive culture was interesting. And if you have spouses that have completely different money personalities, I wonder if you could say sometime, like if someone really wants to go out to eat and the other one wants to do experiences, say, OK, we’re going to eat a couple of times them and do a couple of experiences. Can you find do you think that for spouses that want to travel together with their family, is that a compromise saying, OK, well, let’s go out to eat a few nights for you and then we will have some experiences for me?

[01:00:48.650] – Patti Smith

Yes. And sometimes it’s OK to say you do your thing, I’ll do mine.

[01:00:54.370] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah. So any last minute tips for the health care providers and others that are watching? I mean, try to like you said, it sounds like try to move here. So I went to it for maybe getting to that last phase of the money personality quickly, or is it just a matter of trying to adopt these little tips slowly and then you’ll hopefully get towards that spot where, you know, healthy spending, healthy saving.

[01:01:15.240] – Patti Smith

The fastest way to start moving towards becoming a good steward is to make the decision. That is what you are going to do, commit to yourself. I’m going to learn tomorrow, I’m going to practice what I learn until it becomes second nature for me. And I wanted to create the financial future that brings me joy. But you have to decide first, yeah, on my desk from a bad person in the quote is you are only one decision away from a totally different place.

[01:01:57.070] – Patti Smith

So choose yourself, make the decision and commit to becoming a good steward.

[01:02:04.750] – Laura Cicholski

Which is cool, and I mean, that can help everyone, I can help everyone around you and yeah, it’s it’s like we said earlier in the beginning of the conversation, money is a tool. It’s not meant to be hoarded. It’s not meant to be spent on everything and not meant to be exactly on the side or use for one person. It’s meant to make the world a better place. And that’s like you said, money is comes back to energy.

[01:02:24.460] – Patti Smith

You don’t have to be giving it all away. Right. You have to be the right balance. Yeah.

[01:02:32.690] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, those are really good tips. It’s been great to have you here today. I know you’ve given us so thank you.

[01:02:38.000] – Laura Cicholski

Hey, you’re welcome. Where can our audience find you to have a website?

[01:02:41.960] – Patti Smith

I do. There’s not so much on there about the money stuff, but I do it 50 years of coaching. There’s a lot of things to cover.

[01:03:06.320] – Laura Cicholski

I know. I like that. That reminds me of the I Dream of Jeannie show from years and years ago.

[01:03:10.640] – Patti Smith

Well we can work magic.

[01:03:12.890] – Laura Cicholski

Exactly. That’s what I was thinking. That’s really cool. And then you had a free gift as well today for our audience.

[01:03:18.380] – Patti Smith

I actually had two. I think.  A lot of the stress that people experience is because they don’t feel safe. And so I have a recording called Creating Sanctuary, OK, which I actually created about. 40 years ago, OK? Wow. And ah, the practice, not the recording. And so in just under 15 minutes, it will guide you through creating this safe place where you can go connect with your higher selves, with divine wisdom, receive the information, the answers that you’re looking for, and just rest and be.

[01:04:05.310] – Patti Smith

So as I say, it’s about 15 minutes, but I encourage you all to listen to it and start accessing your sanctuary whenever it’s always there for you, no one else can get into it. They don’t even know it exists.

[01:04:22.860] – Laura Cicholski

Just thank you so much for that. It’s very generous. You’re right. And I think more the more I do a lot of yoga and the more I do that. I used to be a runner and a real person, and I was I would never stop for doing the slow stuff because I didn’t have time. I was all I’m one that eats on the go. I’m not really proud of it anymore. I used to be and I’m like, that really isn’t good for my digestive system to be running into, you know what I mean?

[01:04:43.260] – Laura Cicholski

I need to sit down and I’m realizing that now as I get older. But it’s interesting. Now, the yoga, it’s almost like you just said, finding your sanctuary, finding putting space and life right, putting the pause and even during a busy a busy day, whether it’s back to the might, some of the mindfulness stuff or even just some stretching that providers can do. But anything you can do to kind of find practice, self care, this stroboscope, this meditation will help tremendously.

[01:05:10.140] – Patti Smith

I did it with a client many years ago and so good she opened her eyes after we were done. She said for the first time in my life, I felt safe. And she was almost 40 years old. Wow. So it’s a very powerful thing and as well and think of what when they have that feeling of safety, think of where they can go from there. Because if you’re always and I talked with a provider the other day, an expert talking about when you have your amygdala in the back of your brain and control the fight or flight, you can’t think straight.

[01:05:45.750] – Laura Cicholski

Your frontal cortex is not processing. So if they’re constantly doing so, you can’t create what you want. You know what I mean? You can’t have the goals because you can’t think straight. So that’s powerful because you probably allowed her amygdala to kind of almost, you know, almost like go on lower power mode and then her frontal cortex could take over. So she could maybe accomplish hopefully anything she wanted to.

[01:06:06.540] – Patti Smith

Oh, she went on to do amazing things.

[01:06:09.460] – Laura Cicholski

Oh, yeah. She probably had it in her. But when you’re held back by something. Right. It’s kind of like the like you said, the money mindset. So so in the last inclosing here, do you think then it’s a lot of the unconscious or the subconscious excuse me looking into that, but then focusing on what you want and heading toward it as well, like instead of dwelling on where you’ve been, you know what I mean? Saying you’re like, oh, I can’t ever get past where I’ve been.

[01:06:34.120] – Patti Smith

Yeah. If if you keep looking in the rearview mirror, you can only go backwards. Yeah. If you’re going to get wherever you’re going, you need to acknowledge where you stand because that’s part of it.

[01:06:46.860] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, it’s part of our story. It’s our money story.

[01:06:49.680] – Patti Smith

But you need to focus on what’s in front of you.

[01:06:53.490] – Laura Cicholski

Yeah, exactly. I love it.

[01:06:55.200] – Patti Smith

And enjoy the ride.

[01:06:57.870] – Laura Cicholski

Exactly. Yeah. It’s not a life. It’s not a destination. It’s the ride. You have to enjoy it along the way.

[01:07:03.360] – Patti Smith


[01:07:04.410] – Laura Cicholski

It’s great to have you here with us today. Thank you. Thank you so much. Thank you. You’ve given us so many amazing tips. Thank you.

[01:07:11.850] – Patti Smith

My pleasure. Thank you so much for having me. I hope everyone focuses on self care and excessive speed reporting so that they can have some peace.


2 free gifts:

1) a 15-minute guided meditation called ‘Creating Sanctuary’ which helps people create a ‘safe haven’ they can go to anytime to reduce their stress and regain peace of mind,

available at:

2) a link to sign up for my weekday ‘Message of Hope’ emails, available at:

Patti Smith copy


Patti Smith is an Intuitive Life/Business Coach and the Owner of Your Dream Genie.

She has been coaching for over 50 years and teaching her students and clients about the Energy of Money and How to Develop An Abundant Money Mindset for nearly 20 years.
She knows that money, or the lack of it, is one of the most common causes of stress – impacting our self-worth and self-esteem, our relationships with others and our ability to take care of ourselves and our families. 

Understanding what money really is and how to manifest more of it in your life will improve all of those areas, reduce your stress and allow you to enjoy each day with greater peace of mind.

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